dear dear.

well. tomorrow is the day. maybe i might have time to update once more. but that depends. today was a rush. playing soccer in the morning with some friends. rushing home to convert alot of videos for use in my player. i predict the psp will be a godsend. but time will tell. its a very nice ceramic white. very matching with my other white gadget. but, the psp isnt really mine. more like borrowed on long term loan.

i have been thinking you see. it seems that in twenty days, i'll be having loads of regrets over things that i will not be able to do. but then again, after looking through some of the things, a voice inside my head screams out at me.
"AZRIN you dolt! you could've done half those things had you not been so wuss!"
well. that figures. but would i just give it a miss? those twenty days? not a chance. it'll probably be the dumbest thing i'll ever do. like err seriously. so i guess its a give and take situation. i do wish it didnt have to be so long. but well, my parents have a way of taking a very very very long time to do things.

at least i got to see some of my friends. i doubt i'll be missed much, after all, its only twenty days. (but that doesnt make me hope people do. teehee.) whats that? aww. of course i know you'll miss me kaptain. haha. just remember that lunch you owe me. haha.

bugger. TheVarnus probably abit angry with me. rightfully so. conisdering i wasnt able to play CoH with him today. not my fault. the lan connection in my home network screw up abit. by the time i fixed it, he had gone for hockey bbq. lol.

haiz. better go and charge all my things.

lazarus

Check this out. i wont mention who it is by until you've actually scrolled through it. muahahaha.

Lazarus

As the cheerless towns pass my window
I can see a washed out moon through the fog
And then a voice inside my head breaks the analogue
And says

"Follow me down to the valley below
You know
Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul"

I survived against the will of my twisted folk
But in the deafness of my world the silence broke
And said

"Follow me down to the valley below
You know Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul"

"My David don't you worry
This cold world is not for you
So rest your head upon me
I have strength to carry you"

(Ghosts of the twenties rising Golden summers just holding you)

"Follow me down to the valley below
You know
Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul
Come to us Lazarus
It's time for you to go"

yeap. thats it. this song is by porcupine backside, eh wait, i mean porcupine tree. this song is one of the very few songs by this group which i have listened repeatedly to, ergo, i like this song. the lyrics are, erm, open to debate. as i have not listened to the rest of the album, i do not know if it is part of a greater story. but anyway, the tune is sweet.

oh well. this is the second last post i will be making before i will be leaving on an obligatory hiatus.

a: these wires are entangled.
b: stand up! you are probably sitting on some wires. they are not entangled.
a: okay. you come and see.
b: look here, just loosen up these wires, straighten them up and there you go.
b: and i suppose that wasnt entangled?

erm. i doubt anyone would've understood that. but nevermind.

todays training was very productive. i got promoted to thirty metres by koach! haha. yay. but of course, i got burnt to crisp. damn, someone should bring back those shelters. after training and james bond, i courted with the "depression" again and left $35 poorer. hee.

pizzas

i think i'm abit sick of pizzas already. after the archery lunch, i went home to find that mum didnt cook dinner. so she decided to order pizza! omg. pizza for lunch dinner and the leftovers for next morning's. thats enough to make anyone sick. hmm.

something secret

we are surrounded by chaos. there is not much we can do but to embrace it. and yet, even in such a mess there is an unseen order that has been laid before us. a path that few would be able to notice. something secret steers us all. and its very comforting to know that. that someone is watching over you. it makes you stronger.
the orbifold reflects this very well in terms of the actual music and the setting it was played in. thats why i like it so much.

besides, today i courted with the "depression" and i left $40 poorer.
plus, i feel very powerful with a recent acquisition for fifty usd.
teeheehee

savvy

some people have the option to choose. most of the time they do he smart thing. some times they dont. pity.

logically wrong.

now i just dont understand the logic of some people. haha. this is not meant to be a rant. just plain amusement. i shall state two examples. you be the judge. the parties involved shall remain anonymous.

Case Study 1

"I was looking around for any anime shops so i can buy you the figurines that you want. I went to this shop that sells all those anime things and i asked the shopkeeper if he sold teen titans and he just stared at me. Teen Titans is gay."

"Why? What about those sick hentai, grossly disproportionate figurines that reveal all sorts of things. Are those gay?"

"No."

"Ermm. Why?"

"Because they damn satisfy horny guys."

"And thats not gay? as well as extremely loser and retarded? while Teen Titans is just an entertaining cartoon show?"

"No. Teen Titans is just gay."

"..."

okaee. i guess this instance, the subjects at hand are abit subjective to tastes. however, hentai less that tt in terms gayness? hmm. but the next example clearly shows how dumbe some people can be.

Case Study 2

I was bored so i started Dark Crusade and went to the online servers looking for a quick 1v1 game. i found this random guy and i joined his game.
My Race: Chaos
Dude's Race: Space Marines
after he found out what race i was playing, he started typing me some messages.

D: prepare to be pwned n00b. i'm going to crush you. SM ownz all and Chaos is a piece of shit.
Me: So you damn pro issit?
D: More than you, i saw yur player stats. you've barely played this game. i'm going to crush you.
Okae. i start to get wary. maybe he is a good player and he may win me. But then again, he maybe just acting like a complete jackass. nonetheless, i continued confidently.
4 minutes later, i attacked him with a force of Chaos Space Marines. Dude's response.

D: F*** YOU NOOB! F***ING HEAVY BOLTER SPAMMER! TRY USING SOME REAL TACTICS FOR A CHANGE! F***ING NOOB.

bear in mind, my force was decimating his troops. i decided he was being such a retard, i wanted to pull back and build up a bit before attacking. fine, you accuse me of using one troop type, i shall attack with more.
2 minutes later, i attack again with Chaos Space Marines, Raptors and Bezerkers. He had managed to build up a decent force. but i still slaughtered them. by then, my tanks had gotten out and i proceded on to decimate his base.

Dude's respones:
D: F***ING NOOB! STOP SPAMMING UNITS! ASSF***!
Me: Retard. I'm attacking with more troop types that you.
D: F*** YOU. CHAOS IS BROKEN. ITS COMPLETELY IMBA!
Me: Weren't you saying you were going to crush me and that chaos is shit?
D: F***ING NOOB
Me: If i was the n00b, would i be destroying you and your base?

well. after that, i didnt get any response from him. but this was probably the most hilarious case of retardedness i'd seen in a long time. i wasnt angry, but i won the game highly amused.

haha.

vacuum

finally. the pestilence has been fully purged and i celebrated that occasion today by going training. i was contemplating which of the four ways i could get to the outdoor range in time. but the problem was, they all take roughly the same amount of time, except the fifth way which is to take a cab from home to range but thats out of the question. (:
finally, i decided taking a train to bishan and taking bus 13 to the range was the fastest. but i didnt factor in the jam at bishan? bleah. seriously. someone should invent a teleportation device thingy. Alex Chiu's one doesnt count. it probably doesnt work just like all his other inventions.

anyway, i did get to training on time (surprise surprise). but man, was it hot. i dont think i have ever sweated that much since OBS. not a single cloud in the sky for the first two hours. as a result, training was rather unproductive. to top it off, i lost an arrow. hee. *looks sheepish. so i decided to use the short distance board. i shot like six arrows, and went to retrieve them. OMGWTH! the board was like crawling with strange insects and stuff.
fang kang dubbed those boards as the "living boards" seriously, the straw was probably like decomposing and festering with bacteria. that would explain the stench.
lol. sped off to rj after training where i met alan and reuben. we went j8 for lunch and just talked alot before we parted.

you know, i was just thinking. i was always amazed by vacuum cleaners. i remember when i was a little kid, i used to put my hand on the vacuum cleaner and feel the suction force. but i was wary. i kept imagining myself getting sucked into the vacuum cleaner by accident. well, i'm not to amazed these days but i still dont know how they work.
which reminds me about what happened on saturday? there i was helping to vacuum my room. suddenly, the thing just turned off. i was like huh? i checked the power, and the plug was still plugged in. i tried turning it on again. no use. ermm. so what now? i was like standing there. suddenly, CRACK! POOF! (the sound was like something in between a poof and a bang but i dont know any word for that. do you?) a big black smog burst out of the back of the vacuum cleaner.
i felt pain. alot of pain on my foot. for a minute, i was like jumping on one leg (as if that helps) and like rapidly saying ouch!ouch! it seemed that the smog was very hot and bits of black particles sort off embedded on my right foot that was strategically positioned behind the vacuum cleaner. ouch.
the cleaner was discharging a very bad smell. something like a burning smell? and that attracted the attention of everyone else in the house.
luckily, nothing (except my poor foot) was burning and my mum quickly moved the vacuum cleaner outside the house to any smelly stuff escape outside and not inside our house.

well. how often do you cause a vacuum cleaner to explode? i have no idea how i did it either.

okae fine. i very n00b. cannot vacuum room without something exploding. something bad happened the last time i helped vacuum-ed my room. but i can seem to remember. well, i tell you that cleaner is jinxed. at least now its out of the house. but my foot is still very sore. me thinks it got scalded/heat damage or something. hah. until a new one is bought, its the traditional low tech broom and dustpan. surely nothing can go wrong there can it? guess what, it can.
let me explain. i was sleeping the floor today. after i came home, you know, help my mum and all. i placed the dustpan flat on the floor behind me and sat down for a break in the kitchen. enter my sister. i suan her. she get annoyed, tried to whack her. i too pro and agile to get his, step back to avoid her arm. WHAPOW! operating in pure bugs bunny cartoon style thingy, i stepped on the dustpan and it like fling up and hit me on the back. haha. not very pain, but rather embarrassing. you dont know what just happened? go watch a few cartoons with a rake and you'll get it.

haha. right. anyways. finally got around to watch TT Trouble in Tokyo. i must say, i feel rather sorry for BB. Why? haha. i wont say. but a single sentence i mentioned in one of my earlier posts a few months ago should put things in perspective. cant remember? too bad. serves you right for not reading my posts properly. the Rob and S relationship finally kicked off and i was like ermm. finally. haha. nvm. but R very bully leh. keep pwning BB. judging by personalities of various characters, i declare that Trouble in Tokyo took place after the middle of Season 4 and before Season 5. since R was exceptionally angst, me thinks it was before the big finale of Season 4. hee. i guess no one is interested? hmm.

Oh? Who is BB? go figure. hee.

sdkf

d: have fun in your trip
t: what? i going in the evening
d: have fun in your trip
t: oh. thanks.
ermm. what was that? either it was lousy phone reception or a case of poor hearing. jking jking. but i think i was too blurr to figure out which.

you know something? rail guns and gauss guns actually exist! and they work pretty effectively but only in laboratories or in the garage of some crazy dude. coooool. i want to build one. but that would mean i'd have to somehow acquire a 15000 volt power supply. well, rail gun appear to be practically impractical. so gauss gun it is.
lol. seriously.

and i bet somebody is just dying to know who i thought i saw on the public transport system. hehex.

under estimate?

anyway, after a few days of pestilence i finally recovered enough to deem myself capable of entering an air conditioned room and rapidly click and press alot of buttons on a keyboard. well. yea.
a number of battles took place but the one i'll be referring to now is know as "The GREAT One" well. for starters, i must admit, i vastly underestimated my opponents. as a result, i made several mistakes in the beginning, experimented with some new tactics and all in all, i was rather sluggish. the wierd mouse helped alot in the sluggish-ness. anyway, tt was at the start. but it was enough to make me pay dearly. by then it was pretty much too late. we and my team mante lost the initiative. we were defending. never attacking. eventually, i got crushed and sandwiched. i admitted defeat. it enjoyed the game alot. but it affected me in a sense that the loss was ultimately my fault. so i resolved to strive for the epitomy of tactical genius as demonstrated by the Primarch of the Ultramarines, Roboute Guilliman.

This conflict was known as "The Last One"
same teams but different outcome. rapid build order, quick mobilization of forces, sudden strikes, quick infantry reinforcements coupled with vehicle and artillery support destroyed enemy forward positions. my ally was playing a defensive battle but he had the upper hand.
a practical combination of heavy weapons ensured that all enemy infantry would be reduced to shreds before they could attack.

Deploy the elites in the middle of the first base when he is at his weakest and utterly destroy it.

second was trickier. i attempted to flank the base but the narrow gorge was a choke point and the enemy did well to hold it. i was driven back with my infantry mostly dead. thankfully, my tanks survived so i was not all vulnerable. they held off the initial surge of enemy infantry. infantry was quickly requisitioned. the base was very well defended. it would take at least two waves. first wave destroyed half the base by means of deploying troops by means of drop pods. very crucial but a suicide mission nonetheless. the damage was done. he charged infantry and tanks at my armour outside his base. combined with off map orbital bombardments, my force prevailed. second wave. send in scouts to investigate best site for drop. immediate deployment of troops by means of drop pods combined with an armour charge ended the battle.
so yea. my side won. lol.

on a side note. i was reading some random cards i got and i wonder what happened to the booking? hmm.

kid

yesterday this strange little kid on the bug was laughing and pointing at my earphones since she thought i was retarded or something.

and yesterday, my long time dawn of war compadre gave up on dark crusade. ):

kool guy karthik.

hahaha. i've finally gotten about doing this. haha. finally. this entry is like dedicated to this really hod guy and the real GUITAR GOD of all time [well, at least in rj x)]. NO its not you vivek. haha. drumroll please if you havent figured out who it is. hint: look at the title.

Yes! You're right! its karthik sundar! woo! this guy damn nice arh. knew him since sec 1 (we were in the same class) and it been a hell lot of fun. especially since i started to sit with you during nara's classes? haha. our combined madness ensured we were constantly scolded or sent out of class. fine, sec 1 sec 2 it was mostly my madness. but dont know why in sec 3 you exploded into the madness and crazy scene which such force, i was forced to bow down in you supremacy.
all the anguthu bonguthu binguthu thingies were damn funny. i cant remember, when did we create all those? hmm.
haha. and remember this classic moment?
me: Eh Karthik, Karthik, Karthik, Karthik.. *while shaking him very vigorously
k: WHAT?!!?!?!?
me: milk. *points at cup

haha. those were the days. ouch, but the strangulation was quite painful. haha.
but you were damn nice to me in sec 4 and this year. with all your amazing knowledge, you constantly advised me helped me whenever i was down. thanks alot for all that dude. really helped. you have no idea how much.
pity, this year you took up physics so we ended up not hanging out much this year. only during breaks or at the start of school. haha. i shall promise i shall come for more bleake outings or whatever cos it was so much fun hanging out with you. you keep doing or saying wierd things thats its hard to end up laughing like shit all the time.

sorry arh, now that i look at it, this seems like a slack entry. but its the thought that counts right? haha. happy hols dude and hope we can hang out more often next year or something or maybe during hols too! haha. cheers. (:

EDIT: i forgot to write this in the morning and its been bugging me for the whole day. Thanks for being such a great and awesome friend dude. i'm really lucky to have known a guy like you. hee.

grayscale

Flowers In The Window

When I first held you I was cold
A melting snowman I was told
That there was no one there to hold
Before, I swore, that I would be alone forever more

Oh, wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same
Is there love out in the clouds
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

There is no reason to feel bad
But there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad
It's just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
And I am here to help you with the load

Oh, wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same
Is there love out in the clouds
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

So now we're here and now is fine
So far away from there and there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there'll be flowers in the window when we go

Oh, wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same
Is there love out in the clouds
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

travis is <3 as sherlock said. this one sounded so nice, i couldnt stop myself from listening excessively to it. so sweet. haha.

i just noticed that my wardrobe is predominantly black and white along with a few in betweens. the only dashes of colour here and there were mostly stuff bought quite awhile ago, like in sec two or something. and no, my wardrobe is not just full of school uniforms.
hunted for "depressed" today at far east. bummer. it was closed. on a sunday? hmm. well, looks like i have to go there another day. besides, it seems that Singapore is lousy enough not to sell TT merchandise. i went down to cineleisure to check out that shop with the powerpuff girls thingy inside in hopes that i may finally locate the elusive figurine or something. but bummer again. no such thing.

lol. wonder why training is in the afternoon tomorrow.

fixed.

my hair is fixed! hehe. now its uniformly thick, or uniformly thin if you want to be specific. feels wierd having so little hair. in air con rooms it feels especially cold. and it feels funny while bathing. but hey, i didnt ask for it. haha. the barber just went and cut it all off. besides, at least he didnt charge me anything for the fixation of my hair. lol. hmm. i think i remember someone i know wanting to shave her hair when she went university. lol.

today was a pseudo archery outing. only 5 people. once again our dear kapitan showed he was more than adept at choosing "good" movies. this is number two. remember date movie? we could have settled for step up. haha. but covenant it had to be. at least it spawned some new fantasies for you. haha. after a hiatus of about eleven months, i played pool today. first game 2v2 with 2 As against the other two As (hey, i just realised this. cool stuff.). i screwed up quite badly. hee. so much so that when i took on kapitan by myself and whooped him, my vice capt gave me tips that were meant for kapitan since she couldnt believe i was actually winning by such a big margin after sucking in the first game. thanks alot. haha. jking jking.

ohwell. so as usual, whenever, me and kapitan go home together on an mrt or bus, we usually act like sad, deprived and insecure people conjuring up the strangest fantasies or "stories" in today's case. But today, our strange conversations were conducted at a slightly higher volume today. so at bishan, two girls who we didnt know, suddenly got up, looked at my kapitan and said "YO!" and started laughing like shit. even when they got off the train they kept looking back at us and laughing. strange. who cares. haha.

oh yea. sorry for being so late. but thanks for the cool "ressurection orb" with all the notes pinned on.

missing.

damn. i am just damn unlucky. i better start getting responsible if not i'll just keep loosing mechanized friends, automated acquiantances or digitized data. yep. my phone's gone and i suspect for good. how careless of me. haiz.

and my hair right now is erm, lacking in terms of amount of hair. haha. i bet there'll be a number of people commenting about it tomorrow then i go training. haha.

background music

the reason why i like listening to the half life soundtracks is because its so damn ambience. i think i mentioned it before. i builds up my mood and provides a kind of background music that can suit any mood. haha. i have no idea what i just typed. i tried to expunge my ideas to subash last week while going school. however, he failed to grasp the concept of having your own background music. errm. did that make much sense? not really in my opinion.

anyway, today on the way home, i ambienced myself to sleep while listening to the episode 1 soundtrack. thankfully, syukri called me and woke me up. i checked the outside of the mrt and i saw sun plaza coming into view. lol. syukri save my life. haha. lol. but lucky i only overshot by one station. dont know why i was so tired. maybe the aftermath of pw. plus my group did with fang kang's group and TheVarnus' group. of course sherlock didnt leave me in peace di he? all the time telling me some person was damn chio. i did quite allright i think. though sherlock said i was overly enthu. HELLO EVERYONE! that was just damn funny. haha.

well. today, i was quite insulted too. haha. well maybe not really. i was sitting on a bench in the void deck below my house. it was like 8pm already? yea. i was waiting for something. but thats not the point. some random indian guy came and sat beside me. he turned to me and asked,
guy: are you bangladeshi?
me: what?
guy: are you bangladeshi?
me: no.
guy: indian?
me: yea.
guy: indian citizen?
me: no singaporean.
guy: oh, you worker?
me: err. no. i'm just waiting for someone.
guy: your mother and father?
me: err, yea.
guy: oh. ok.
the guy then takes out a notebook and starts writing something on it. by then i was damn sianzxzxz and i just got up and did my waiting elsewhere.

oh. nothing happening tomorrow except that i need to hand in my i&r

three words

people scare me.
maybe not everyone. but i've never felt more afraid of a particular being after i had such a horrible nightmare. possibly the worst in a long while. brrrrrr.

ohwell. nightmares arent real and they dont come true. *gulp, hopefully.
besides, my words are worth nothing much really. not at much at home either. but it does build up to some amazing "told you so!" moments. but i cant really harp too much on it lest i get bashed up or something. haha. but seriously, certain people ought to listen to me more often. haha.
especially this week when i count a number of "told you so!" moments? lol.
but this week, i learnt i horrible story revolving around a particular guy i know and how he goes about betraying people. man, i thought he was a nice guy. but the extent of his betrayal is so damn unforgivable. how could he even do it? of course i wasnt involved but i saw it coming a mile away. another "told you so!" moment.

anyway, i've been seeing alot of my own blood lately. a string of minor injuries. the one on my knee suddenly open up and start bleeding. again. today while doing some heavy lifting at home, i slam my foot into something i cant remember and ouch. i see a pretty long cut on my foot. owie. its still hurting now. so careless. haha.

watched lady and the tramp two nights ago. very sweet. (: but things arent so simple are they?

ouch

i keep forgetting i changed my damned password! grrr.
and the gash on my leg still hurts. when i wear pants and the fabric comes into the contact with my knee, i feel a significant amount of pain. strange. i wouldve thought and injury as minor as that would've healed by now. how long has it been? a week? hmm.

wonder whats happening on tuesday.

magic

there's magic everywhere but you just need to look out for it. sometimes, even when its right next to you, chances are you'll probably miss it. take for example yesterday, when half of our class decided to buy and take away our lunch and go to the benches near the bubble tea shop to eat them. we came across this strange looking contraption with a seat. i prompty sat on it and started swingeg side to side on it in a rather silly manner. kapitan noted that there was a small slit at the side just big enough for a 50c coin. he reached out for his wallet, took out a coin a put it in.
BEHOLD!
the chair started moving upwards in a circular fashion with me on it! my other friends promptly took out thier phones and started snapping pictures and videos of me (which are much too embarrassing to put here) on the moving chair.
but i think kapitan is a null to all magical acts. because when i got off the moving chair and when kapitan tried to sit on it, the chair stopped moving!
or maybe its because he's just too heavy.
haha.

alternate?

words can describe the level of irritation/sadness i am feeling right now. and to add to it, i keep forgetting i changed my blogger password. damn i havent gotten used to the new one.

bah. i shall go and immerse myself in the bloody and visceral world of warhammer 40000. (@koach, i admit, the story for the game is slightly erm, lame but the whole background is utterly awesome beyond all reckoning)
violent computer games are thereaputic. amidst all the chaos and madness, it is very much possible to be at peace.

damn it. you'd think there'd be enough people with sufficient intelligence to figure it out. besides, if i were dead serious about something, this blog wouldnt be a place to find out such things. *hint hint.

edit: damn i'm good when i'm pissed. after making an exceptional number of headshots and single handedly obliterating entire bases of necron and eldar origin i appear to have slaked my thirst for violence.
ooh. doesnt it sound nice when your speaker keeps blaring HEADSHOT! DOMINATING! MULTIKILL!
erm yea. where was i?